Happy New Year, Humanity!
I celebrated in atypical fashion, enjoying a non-date with an older 50-something widower Manfriend. We enjoyed INDOCHINE, and I had about the the BEST Shrimp Pad Thai and Yellow Curry a girl could ask for without leaving the country. I contributed to the evening by bringing DVDs to enjoy. With nearly all of my DVDs deep in the storage unit, I thought I would go utilize this newfangled "REDBOX" contraption I see everywhere. Manfriend is a certified bachelor, with exceptional taste in food and wine....however, when it comes to film, prefers Oscar-winners only.
Not seeing any movies lately, I reserved THE KING'S SPEECH, THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU, and INCEPTION. I arrived at my redbox. There was a "fatal error" which caused my machine not to be functioning. I called customer service who directed me to the next closest redbox, and informed me for my inconvenience they would be giving me three promotional codes to use towards next rentals providing me three free. Shortly after, they mentioned that I was already charged for my original rentals when I reserved them online, so they weren't ACTUALLY giving me anything special. I arrive at the next redbox. It is showing "Out of Order." Then 10 miles up the road, the next redbox. I get the ADJUSTMENT BUREAU, but it will only allow me to use one code. I call again to customer service....who tells me the machine I am at, has now went "offline" and promo codes won't work, and directs me to another machine.
At this time, I am late meeting Manfriend for dinner. I hightail it, with one DVD in hand and show up 15 minutes late. By 530 PM, the restaurant is packed. We exchange pleasantries as friends do, and immediately get seated. We talk politics, religion, finance: things people don't usually talk about without getting underwear in a bunch, but we can, because he likes that I'm open minded and don't get offended whether we agree (which we don't) or not, and I like that he's a living breathing person who is available to meet for dinner. Besides, he has interesting stories from all of his travel, and is motivating me to see the world.
After dinner, I try one more redbox, and succeed in getting INCEPTION. We get to his house, and he's bought Malibu and pineapple juice because from previous dinners he know's it's my favorite. He's fully stocked with top shelf brands and he was showing me some he brought back from overseas, and offered it to me, mixing me up a tasty blend of juice, rum, and apricot brandy. ADJUSTMENT BUREAU was a bust, and INCEPTION made your brain hurt. I wouldn't know because I felt asleep and snored through it. At midnight, we used our noisemakers, then I went to sleep. No kisses, even on NYE, on non-dates. His spare bedroom has an unusually shaped window with a four poster bed below it, and as the morning sun rises light pours in the room in the most perfect manner. THIS made me realize exactly how my house needs to sit, and how I want light to shine through my stained glass window in my prayer room.
I had bad dreams all night, but feel rested just the same. I realize that I definitely want a King Size bed, even if it is all to myself....ESPECIALLY if it is all to myself. It's like Princess Me....and I just need a bed that big with good sheets to feel ultimately pampered. I woke up early enough to get back home, showered and changed in time for church.
I desperately want to go to the Steelers bar for brunch, but I'm done with eating out alone. THIS makes me realize I need new year's resolutions to include making lots of new friends so that I can have a dinner partner with me every night!
I have recently had a friend's marriage end. I am not much help. The greatest thing about a good adult friendship is the honesty that is involved. Unlike when are you are teenage and hormonal, when you are in midlife you are middle aged and (still!) hormonal, however you have life experience. Where as in my youth, I felt like Billy Crystal's WHEN HARRY MET SALLY character's "Men and Women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way" was true, I now beg to differ. Gender is irrevelent when it comes to the Broken Hearts Club. It doesn't matter how you lost your loved one (divorce, illness, death), your pain reveals a need for companionship that can come from man, woman, child, or dog....a void that is needed to be filled regardless.
Seeing grown men cry is not my thing. Friday night, Carlos* and I talked for a few hours on the phone. I tried to explain a little more in depth the whole Robert Frost "The only thing I know about life can be summed up in three words: IT GOES ON" thing, but I came out sounding a little less optimistic, and a little more radical, saying to focus on his relationship with God, his family, and his children, and let the pain of this betrayal go. Carlos is good for an ego boost, always how positive I am, how I can lift a person's mood, etc....but he stopped me in my tracks, asking me why I don't believe in love, and that this "non-dating" thing is a cop out.
The truth is I ABSOLUTELY believe in love. I've seen it. I've lived it. I've LOVED it! Frankly, I know for a fact that I am going to be in love again. Non-dating is what I enjoy though. Non-dating is no pressure. Non-dating is really actually just going somewhere you'd go alone with someone else. Non-dating is not gender-specific. I can non-date men, women, young, old, gay, straight, or curious. Non-dating is companionship. And J was my non-date for a long time....until one day he became my date, then my love, then my husband. I wasn't expecting him to come into my life, and he found his way in, locked hold, and wouldn't let go, and it was the best experience I've had thus far. God has told me (Don't be a skeptic) that it's going to happen for me (to be fruitful and multiply) and I believe it. I'm led to believe it's going to happen the same way. Non-date turns into date turns into love turns into marriage.
Carlos doesn't buy it....but Carlos is a little scorned right now so maybe he'll see my point eventually. He also doesn't "get" my theory that adults should skip the dating dance and should be upfront and straightforward about their needs and wants from a relationship. I see it as a waste of time to "get to know" that your potential future spouse hates dogs, criticizes jazz, hates I like old records versus CD if you have a choice, and have to dump him for these things in 6 months. He says this is scary. "Getting to know someone" is for finding out that your guy refrigerates his parmesan cheese (YUCK! Even though I know it says refrigerate after opening, I'll risk it.) You can get to know me pretty fast, and the first time you complain about my heels being left by the front door, my lettuce, cheese, and onion salad (ONLY!), or refuse to go to the theatre....you can better bet we are incompatible and you need to leave. Clearly, I know My (Future) Partner wouldn't find this to be crazy...because my Soulmate (#2) has to be equally as eccentric (as I'm becoming) to understand me.
Other than a fortuneteller's rather detailed description and promise that I will know by the end of 2012 the happy direction my life is going to take from here (allegedly free of tragedy and pain), I simply need respect, admiration, one weekly date night, and Sundays committed to God and Family....a want is him to be old enough to have matured to understand true misfortunate + young enough to not be 75 at our child's high school graduation. (Therefore, Manfriend is out and will stay my eternal non-date.)
My real new year's resolutions are:
1.) Not refuse a single invitation extended (exhibited by today's bingo with old church ladies and tonight's kareoke with coworkers),
2.) Return to the "Every day is a holiday" mindset I previously carried (and celebrate daily...),
3.) Update my blog weekly, and journal daily,
4.) Finish writing my book on grieving...and start second on living.,
5.) Host Large Dinner party and cook GLAMOUR's "Engagement Chicken" recipe that I have in my new cookbook 100 RECIPES EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW and see how many couples get engaged, and subsequently, how many bridesmaids' dresses I can accumulate.
Number 5 is my most important...I believe in signs and sparkle and even a little magic. I want to see these things for people around me. And although I (currently) believe and am fully convinced that I will sparkle again (Possibly with the help of my new cookbook's INSTANT SEDUCTION PORK CHOPS) I am okay with no sparkling for a while...or even ever, if I am a little off track and I'm reading the signs incorrectly. And while there is no sparkling in this oceanfront condo, I'll be making PROVE TO YOUR MOM YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STARVE MEATLOAF, WHO CALLS A MEETING AT 5PM STIRFRY, and INSTANT HAPPINESS MAC AND CHEESE, so if nothing else, I'll be eating well.
Happy New Year, Friends. I'm confident it's going to be one for the books. Mark. My. Words.
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